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Post 3-And Now I'm Afraid?

I'm all booked up to spend one blissful night by myself, from 3 p.m. till 11 a.m., and now I'm afraid of being alone? What gives? I start to question my decision, and I think, I can still back out, I can, I still have time. But, I hang on and try to figure out why I'm afraid.

Is it because I haven't spent time by myself in a really, really long time?

Is it because I'll have to occupy myself for hours?

Will I discover that I'm really, truly boring?

Then it hits me.

I'm afraid to be without my husband. The little girl in me doesn't want to be without him but the grown up girl, with the big girl pants, doesn't want him near. Its kind of like this...

Honey, I want you to come to the hotel, but you need to stand outside my door. This way, I won't feel so lonely. But don't knock or ask to come in, and don't complain or need to use the bathroom because that might agrivate me because I want to be alone. And, you better not get mad because that will make me angry, and ruin my night. Just stand outside the door so I know I'm not alone.

Crazy, Right?

When I told my husband about this feeling, he didn't bring me to the loony bin, but he also didn't understand because he came from a nice, stable family. That's it! Stability! Something I lacked as an adolescent, my teens, and even my twenties. My husband is my safe person and sometimes in some situations, I'm afraid to do things without him.

And the truth shall set you free! I know you can't see me but I'm doing my version of the happy dance, and it's not pretty.

Healing comes from discovering, expressing and owning ones truth. Am I still afraid? A little but at least now I know why.

Comments (14)

Jun 19

Changing to a ND-prescribed nutritional plan is hard, hard, hard—but can be life-changingly worth it. Thank you for sharing your struggles and journey!


Jun 01

Inflammation has plagued me since I contracted Lyme… only

complicated by my recent injuries. Im going to look more in to this!


Feb 20

I wonder if we have Naturopaths in western ny

Replying to

You do! I just googled it and a bunch popped up.




I started going to a natural path and same as you

she took a full hour to get to know me

I finally felt like a human not a produc. I read a blog called deep rootsthe home

fabulous information to take into consideration for everything for your health

God bless

Replying to

Hi Marianne,

Thanks for sending me info about the blog. I'll check it out


Feb 01

From what I have been reading. In the book Let food be your medicine by Dr Colbert sometimes it could be an inflammatory issue in your body and you body is letting it show on your skin. You eat pretty healthy but who knows you maybe eating a healthy thing like peppers for example that is causing inflammation in your gut /intestine. Just a thought. Love your work! Dawn R

Replying to

Great Book! Thank you for your thoughts. You just may be right! ❤️


Jan 24

I would not take the same injection but would ask the doctor for other options.

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